Description

A Magic: the Gathering blog by and for the janky combo casual players alienated in a world of netdecking millionaires.

I value inexpensive (kinda) decks outside of the meta because I am cheap and easily bored.


If you are suitably entertained, stoke my insatiable need for attention and compliments via the +1 button

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Magic: The Mathering - Headed Giant 2: Electric Boogaloo

"Each" "Opponent"

These are the two words that I seek the most when looking to construct a filthy 2HG deck. Turns out most people are going to have one of these filthy decks already built. Thanks to everyone's favourite Theros common.

Five damage you guys!

No I'm kidding of course. Boulderfall is passed to me in every draft I've ever done with Theros. It's terrible. Unlike the card I actually mean...

Oh, right, "each" "opponent" yeah, there it is.

Our humble Gray Merchant is main deck playable in devotion to black decks already. But resolve him in a Two headed giant and his ability triggers for each opponent. Devotion of just five turns Gary here in a 10 point life drain and a 2/4 body for 5 mana.

So unashamed Johnny, Combo Player that I am, what is my strategy for this take on Devotion? Quite simply why settle for double, when you can quadruple?

...Let me read that again. - My opponents.
 That's basically the deck right there. Non-creature black mana symbols and double your Gary's.

Oh, but why quadruple when you can, uhh, octuple?

Hey, that's a fair and clever way to use that card. - Absolutely no-one.

Gary hits the board, let's assume on turn seven, with a post verdict board state, because, you know, control players. But I have a couple of black enchantments out and the resonator. When he resolves devotion is five, his ability triggers and targets both opponents for five, I double it with the resonator. My opponents lose twenty life, our team gains twenty, if we are in magical Christmas land and sanguine bond is on the battlefield, my opponents lose an additional twenty life (plus another crazy amount because of the extra devotion if we're getting technical.)

From a Theros common and an M14 junk rare.

This two opponent format makes extort much friendlier to use as well. Extort now read w/b opponent loses two life, you gain two life.

This trigger can also be resonated, less efficient to copy the ability as opposed to activating two instances from your permanents, but you have the option of paying w/b for the costs, 2 to double your trigger and another w/b to activate it for a four point life drain.

If it's finishers ye seek, look no further than debt to the deathless.


Each opponent, those key words again, loses two times X, it already doubles itself. In 2HG it might as well say four times X. When X starts getting above 3 you are looking at closing a game out.

Two times four, for each opponent. They lose sixteen life, you gain sixteen. Likewise if Christmas is still going and Sanguine Bond is out, 32 life lost.

If you can bleed then out beforehand with extort and Gary, that should be game.

My deck will run around Tithe Drinker, Blind Obedience, Underworld Connections, Whip of Eberos, Disciple of Phenax, which goes nicely with the resonator as well, the previously mentioned Gary's and Strionic Resonator and couple of Debt to the Deathless and a couple of sanguine bond to speed the bleed.

As always I have a wild card too.

Angelic Accord.

This will be my creature engine, extort twice, or Gary, or by attacking with lifelink creatures power 4. Can be copied with strionic resonator.

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Monday, March 3, 2014

Magic: The Mathering - Troll's End

Cliff did a bang up job on the art if nothing else.

And the Garfield award for "worst mythic rare ever" goes to...

Actually, if can stop you there, Maze's end haters. I think that Archangel's light is worse, but that like, that's just my opinion man.

Game Day was this Saturday and I thought I'd give the old Maze a run. Mostly because I tested it online and Azorious has nothing in the way of anything to deal with it pre board and pithing needles post board and I thought my local meta would struggle.

So I had it all set up, apart from only owning 1 supreme verdict and 1 detention sphere I thought I'd mix it up a little and run 3 copies of Slaughter Games and some spot removal instead.

Play online, cast this choosing... Elspeth Sun's champion. Opponent concedes.

20 gates, two of each flavour, 4 Maze's end, two Overgrown tombs.

16 Fog effects















2 Kiora the Crashing wave.

All three effects are beneficial to this deck. Mini fog, drawing and playing extra land and a 9/9 Kraken every turn.

Three Far // Away along with one detention sphere, one supreme verdict, two abrupt decay and the slaughter games. Card draw was two urban evolution and the underrated in a mostly sorcery/instant deck, uncovered clues.

Worthy of mention, digs deeper than divination and can often find two fog effects to save your worthless Johnny, combo player smug troll face. Divination for two and pulling two guildgates is not what you are looking for.


As for the games themselves, most are too painful to remember.

Match 1 I won 2-0, against a player who was just getting back into the game. I felt awful watching her swing for lethal no fewer than three times only to have all damage prevented while I put down gate after gate and win the game without so much as attacking.

Match 2: Fuck you mono black and fuck you pack rat. That is all. I was 1 turn away in both games, first time was activating the maze, second time was with crackling perimeter out of the side board. Slaughter Games resolved and I took out 4 Grey Merchants though. That was pleasing.

Match 3: Fuck you mono black and fuck you pack rat. That is still all. I had a couple of chances in this game let down by terrible card draw and something I hadn't considered, mill is really low on the meta but Ashiok was a problem. He milled two of the same guildgate and both abrupt decays, then played pithing needle and chose crackling perimeter (which was in the sideboard)

Match 4: I didn't mind losing. It was against another guy who was just getting back into magic after a long break and he was running an honest Boros aggro deck. Play a haste creature turn three and attack into battalion early. I ran a similar deck at my previous standard event. Much respect in a world of devotion and control. Massive mana screw in game two though. That was quite annoying, kept a 3 land hand of two gates and a maze's end, an urban evolution, kiora and 2 fog effects. I held on for NINE TURNS. Didn't pull another land all game.

The fact he was playing my useless arse in game four was perhaps more telling of how he did. But hey, it's tough to play aggro these days.

So I think with the recommended board wipes and d. sphere's instead on some of the tat like Far / Away I'd have done much better. Need an answer to pack rat in the main deck other than one d. sphere and one verdict though.

Fuck you pack rat.